There was a time when beauty mostly meant improving something for me. My skin was supposed to be smoother, my eyes were supposed to look bigger, my hair fuller, my legs more tanned, and my stomach naturally flatter. There was always something, somewhere, that could be optimized.
Over the years, my view of that has changed. Not because my appearance suddenly stopped mattering to me. Quite the opposite. I love getting ready. But I don't want to stand in front of the mirror in the morning searching for my old face. I want to like the face looking back at me today.
I don't want to fight my age
I find the term anti-aging strange by now. Anti – meaning against. Against aging. Against wrinkles. Against change. Essentially against a process we should also want to keep going for as long as possible.
Of course I want to take care of my skin. I see no contradiction whatsoever in accepting my age while also doing something for my appearance. But I don't want to start every morning with the thought that I have to fight something on my face.
I'm taking care of myself. That's something entirely different.
The older I get, the less I believe in the one miracle product. Gentle cleansing, enough moisture, and consistent sun protection are already a sensible base for many women. What I find far more important is consistency. The most expensive cream doesn't help much if it's used enthusiastically for three weeks and then disappears into a drawer.
Our faces are allowed to show that we've lived
Of course I see changes. I see lines that weren't there before. And yes, there are days I find that less than charming. But there's a big difference between "I don't like this line" and "I don't like my face anymore."
We should be careful not to start viewing ourselves only in pieces. Let's take a step back. There's a woman. Maybe she doesn't look the way she did at 25. But maybe she has a presence today that she couldn't have possessed back then.
