There are photos of myself that I sometimes look at, and my first thought isn't the most reasonable one. Back then my waist was narrower. My skin firmer. My stomach different. My legs looked different.
And of course I know that many years lie between the woman in that photo and the woman sitting in front of it today. My body has lived, worked, endured stress, changed, and carried me through countless phases of my life. Still, I sometimes catch myself comparing it to an earlier version of myself.
I think many women know this feeling. We stand in front of the mirror in the morning and almost automatically search for what has changed. Skin has softened, fat distributes differently, muscle disappears faster if we don't train, and sometimes the scale shows a number even though we're sure we haven't done anything differently.
Especially around menopause, hormonal changes can further influence where fat is stored, how body composition and muscle mass develop, and how we sleep or recover. That doesn't mean we're at our body's mercy. But it does mean it makes little sense to expect a 50-year-old body to react exactly the way a 25-year-old one does.
I don't want my old body back. I want to keep developing it.
For a long time, fitness for women was mainly tied to one goal: becoming less. Less weight. Less stomach. Less size. A smaller dress size.
What do I want my body to be able to do?
Today a different question interests me far more. I want to be strong. I want to climb a flight of stairs without effort, carry heavy grocery bags, lift a suitcase, walk a long way through an unfamiliar city, and still move well after a long day. I want muscles that carry me. I want to keep my mobility and stay independent for as long as possible.
And yes, I also want to look good. I don't think women should pretend our looks suddenly stop mattering to us past a certain age. I train partly because I want to shape my body. I'm happy when I feel beautiful in a dress or see in the mirror that training is paying off.
But there's a difference between wanting to change your body because you hate it, and wanting to change it because you want to treat it well. One is a fight. The other is collaboration.
